the moment i was in desperate need i found something that was screaming out to my heart. it will never stop amazing me how God can bring back everything that i feel like i have already lost. i get so defeated before i even begin to fight the battle. i should always remember-He will be my constant strength to succeed.
Thinking im gonna read this every day . With my recent weight gain , I’ve found I cannot walk by a mirror without stopping and bashing myself . I can’t fit in a 00 anymore . And I’m fighting the urge to delete that sentence because I don’t want anyone to know . I lie to myself as much as I lie to everyone else about my size . I don’t idolize Marilyn Monroe , but this picture may need to be a print on the wall of my home . And I know , I am small and yadda yadda . But here’s a secret : I am utterly and completely obsessed with my weight . To an unhealthy degree . I still wish I was back at 90 pounds , but okay … It’s time to focus on other things . No more stressing about food . No more crying over too small clothes . And NO MORE beating myself up when I look at my reflection .Do you know who that picture is of ? That’s Marilyn Monroe. They’ve considered her the most beautiful woman in the world. She’s gorgeous, and beautiful, right ? But look at her stomach. Is it completley flat ? Does she not have love handles or, perfect long skinny legs ? No. She dosn’t. And wanna know something ? Her pants size, was a size 9. She wasn’t some 00 or 1. She had CURVES. You all worry about your pants size, and your weight when, in reality, who cares ? Why not live your life and be happy instead of counting calories in your head ? Trying to “Be skinny” ? You think losing weight it going to automatically make you feel better ? It wont. No magical fairy is gonna come flying outta the wood work, declaring, “You’re now offically hot ! Boys love you now ! You can be accepted by society !” You’re beautiful ; it’s society that’s messed up. Love yourself, because if you cant love yourself, you cant love anybody, or anything else. Be free, and be happy. Forget what the media says, you want that double cheese-burger with bacon ? GO FOR IT. Until your weight starts to affect your health, you’re perfectly fine to eat what you please.
i stole this & i absolutely love every word.
I don’t know how a brunette could be so intresting. Too much ambition. Jealous. Jealous of her life. Jealous of her blog. Jealous of her face. Jealous of her style.
Will we ever know perfection? or is that just a dream.
apparently the best kind of confrontation is no confrontation at all. you reach out to the ones you love and in return get torn completely down. silence is the best policy, not honesty. being straight up with someone is inappropriate nowdays. maybe i need some duct tape. or maybe the silence alone can somehow learn to tell it all.
at least i have writing. at least i can vent while slamming down on these keys. at least that voice can reach someone somewhere. or maybe it can just be for me. my own personal tool to save all these thoughts from not getting silenced any longer.
here i am speaking up-i’m just waiting for the punishment to come.
i’m DYING for someone to just let me speak. no interruptions, just the same thing a therapist would tell a patient. you’re making bad choices, i am here for you, i am setting you free. your life is in your own hands.
no matter how gently or how you say anything they will tear you apart. i thought God told us to help others not to scream at them and shove negativity down their throats. who knows what the truth is anymore.
“can’t you see this isn’t easy for me to do. we hit a wall today-we hit a wall today and there’s no way of getting through this way. and it’s clear we can’t bear what we’re doing here.”
i won’t get down to specifics but alot of friends have fallen out of my life. some won’t even reply to my texts and they have no good reason. maybe some have a grudge but that isn’t the right thing to do-it never is. you are just setting yourself up for a disaster.
“and you-you don’t mean this at all and i don’t mean this at all so how do we start to fall?”
i’m done helping the ones who won’t accept the help.
but maybe i’m all wrong.
“i tried to speak it out, but words say little-when tears really show what this is about.”
maybe the depression that brings you down to the depths of who you are and shows you a sense of purpose is all just a joke. unfortunately, i’m the one getting laughed at.
“and you say through time this may work again, but why should we wait to begin to mend?”
broken promises are just a constant reminder that maybe friendship just doesn’t exist. maybe it’s a myth.
“go on and leave me now”
do i need to honestly demand respect from everyone??
I am nothing BUT a good friend. I have a pure heart and i love to love. I keep an open mind and i forgive people over and over.
BUT
i have reached the point where i just can’t be so forgiving. you have gained back my trust just to throw it all away again. learn to cope. if i really mattered to you..you should prove it.
